Life Will Be So Dark and Drury - (A Goodbye Post to Josue)

The time has come.

It was only a month and a half ago when Josue Bolaños and I put our heads together and the Pundamentalist was born in the heart of BHS. Pure ingenuity and a very small amount of talent allowed us to craft the blog that so many have come to love.  Ever since that day, the blog has become ragingly popular with an overwhelming population of followers (shoutout to Ethan).

Through the sloppiest puns to the planet's most clever puns, the Pundamentalist has provided internet addicts far and wide (North and South Bentonville) with cheap, wholesome entertainment that can't be found anywhere else. And that's what makes this blog so special.

You see, with the temptation of Google along with numerous Laffy Taffy wrappers, online punning could be a breeze. But we call that cheating. Josue and I are all original and fresh, with no preservatives or artificial flavoring, high calcium, and a pinch of Vitamin B12.

But none of this could have happened if it weren't for one of the punniest, most clever, kindest, coolest, most laid-back, most honorable, most good-looking (I hope he's paying me to say all of this), most dynamic, most talented, classiest people at BHS: Nick Cude.

I'm kidding. It's Josue Bolaños. But really, he's been the mastermind behind endless hilarious puns and posts that, for once, other people besides us actually think are funny. He's been the inspiration. The heart. The backbone of this blog. More than that, Josue's been a great friend and mentor. He's always looking on the bright side of things and making others happy through his caring actions.

Today was the last day of school for Seniors, and Josue is booking it out of high school and will soon be heading off to Drury University. With college, ladies, his future, adulthood, studying, and ladies in mind, manning the Pundamentlist will be very difficult. So unfortunately, with graduation from high school comes graduation from humorous blogging. Who the next co-Pundamentalist will be, we're not sure of yet. But it'll be hard to fill the shoes of the stud(ent) Josue. He may make an official farewell post soon. Hopefully.

Good luck in the future and at college! Through this blog and our friendship, I and many others have senior kindness and humor at its best. If the Pundamentalist ever sells t-shirts, you'll get a deskount. It'll be real dark and Drury here for a bit... and if you want to keep blogging then that'school too. Your influence will forever live in the hearts of Pundamentalist readers.

Sincerely,

Nick Cude

Lucky Charms with a Side of Cabbage, Please

Irish that we could eat corned beef and pretend we're leprechauns every day.

So I do.

However, most of America performs such actions only on one special day: St. Patrick's Day. What even is St. Patrick's Day? Most people are agreen' with me when I say that it's a pretty random holiday choice. To find out why we wear green and celebrate a foreign tradition, we need to take a luck at where it originated.

Truthfully, it's still a religious holiday in parts of Europe. I'd beefoolin' around if I told you that it carries that meaning over in America today, however. A day that originally recognized a Christian missionary and his use of the clover as a tool in an object lesson has transformed into a public invite to drink beer and look for the pot o' gold under the rainbow (My uncle claims to have found one, but he's also colorblind which may slightly ruin his credibility...).

But you know what? That's the same process that oh so many holidays, if not every holiday, goes through clover and clover again. It's become a day to eat food! (Which shamrocks in some cases).

So while your stomach size is Dublin, people in Europe are honoring the holiday with worship.

I'm not here to March in and educate you on Irish tradition, but I wanted to find out more about the origin of St. Patty's Day, and in turn I'm sharing it with you. The religious significance wasn't the first thing to cross my mind, but now I know.

I know many of our readers are in a time pinch, so I'll leaf it at that. But I hope this brought some charm to your understanding of the holiday coming up on Monday.

-Nick

be u tiful

Every day, we, as people, gorge ourselves in media that shows us society's view of beauty. furthermore, I believe that we go about our pretty little lives really lacking in the truth about beauty. But this needs to change. To do this, let us not makeup silly judgments of what what beauty is. Instead, we ought to model our lives in a way that accepts all forms of a person to be bootyful. By being myself, eye shadow all the judgments people make of me. By (lip) sticking to this principle, we gloss over the pain caused by such shallow judgments.

Remember, be you tiful.

-Special guest Ethan Webb

We need More-mon neighbors Episode III: Revenge of the (Joseph) S(m)ith

After I saw Nick's blog post, I chuckled.

I mean, it was a good post, one of those that you write "lol" but you actually don't laugh out loud. I'd like to shout out to him and congratulate him on getting the same amount of views in his short, quickly-written post than I did on my thought-out, polished, and pun-filled post. 

Good job! That takes a lot of skill, and apparently not a lot of time. 

Anyways, this isn't really a competition, but something for fun. After all, I care about us.

I care about us.

Icareaboutus.

Icareaoutus.

Icareutus.

Icareus.

Icarus.

Hey everyone should go check out "Icarus" by Bastille:

http://youtu.be/RIvTIJ-4PfQ

The Pundamentalist Post: Ukraine's Divide

The Pundamentalist Post

BREAKING NEWS

Two Divided Ukraine's are Russian for Control 

Russia continues to defy the world as it attempts to take control of Crimea away from Ukraine.When the leaders of the G8,a forum for the governments of seven leading industrialized democracies, tried to contact Russia, Putin swiftly replied with "Crimea river." As of now, Russia's military has taken control of the Crimean peninsula. Ironically, no hostility has surfaced in the area, since Russia was able to take control of it without engaging the area into a battle. Putin it quiet simply, Ukraine's divide is only deepening. On the West side where Kiev is located, we have more pro-Western Russians, who favor an alliance with the powers of, you guessed it, Western Europe. These are considered rebels since they oppose president Viktor Yanukovych's choice to rely on Putin. These people can be said to think of Viktor as a YanukoVYCH. Clearly not achieving Viktory over all of his people, Yanukovych fled his palace a week earlier. Not surprisingly, the US is U-Craning their heads over to the struggle. Kerry is actually heading there today, in order to reaffirm Ukraine's stability and sovereignty. Obama is punishing Putin financially, in order to show that he's been Puting up to no good. As we see this fight over Ukraine Kerry on, we must ask ourselves how to react accordingly. 

We Need More-mon Neighbors Part 2

After just reading Josue's post from yesterday, (we both individually admin the blog and post freely), I just have to shout out to my Christian brother and say thanks. Yeah, sometimes puns have to be sloppy before you can get a high-quality one out.

But what kind of a pun is "More-mon"?

Anyway, why get angry when you can laugh at life instead?

Laugh at life.
Laughalife.
Laughtaline.
Laughterline.
Laughter Lines.
Hey everyone should go check out "Laughter Lines" by Bastille:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D3Q5hoU8PY&feature=kp 

What never ceases to amaze me

What never ceases to amaze me is that at any moment in time, you can do anything and go anywhere. This moment into the next you could jump into your car, and drive anywhere without ceasing. This next moment you could purchase the next plane ticket to Smileyberg, Indiana without having to ask Why, Arizona. Even if you decide not to go to Why or to Smileyberg, Yukon literally go anywhere. From the gorges landmark of the Grand Canyon, to the bayous of Florida, you can literally BAYOUrself a ride anywhere. Nothing is truly keeping you grounded in the same old, repetitive place. So stop hesitating, stop making up lame excuses, stop saying "Alaska my parents."

Go, Rome the world. What's stopping you?